ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
smell my finger.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
