That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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