I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
honey bunches of taint.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just forgot I was standing up.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
