We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
