He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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