She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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