butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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