You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
wow bdsm is so cute
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
