yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Your dad touched me again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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