So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Drake has all the answers
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