I want to stick my p in your. b.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
