Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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