i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That reminds me...we need to get swords
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
