Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
