we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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