this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
