I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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