For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
