did you get engaged???
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
They are going to name an STD after you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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