i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
