just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize