census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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