I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
