Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
