he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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