I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
