You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
