hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Actions speak louder than pants.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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