Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize