eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
