i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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