I think I am morally bankrupt
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
