i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
