i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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