I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
