did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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