were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
