Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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