I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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