O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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