Too much gin, very little bucket
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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