So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
