it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
