What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
