Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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