what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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