I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
