I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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