All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
