just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
