It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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