im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
