Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
