his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
