Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
