this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize