You made me cry and you don't even care
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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