1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
only if we run a train.
done.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
