The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
