their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
