Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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