i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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