If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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