i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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