We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
