I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Randomize
