Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
