I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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